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On Being Alt in an Alt Fashion

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 One thing that really boggled me when I first looked into lolita fashion was how vocal folks were about visible tattoos or facial piercings not fitting in with the fashion. Tattoos were often described as garish or not feminine enough for such a delicate style and many felt the ink "took away" from the coord. Similar could be said for colored hair or facial piercings.  I never fully understood it, since in the end it is an alternative fashion- why exclude alternative peoples from it? In its heart of heart it is a style designed as a counter culture to not fit the "ideal woman" nor the male gaze, how could tattoos or piercings or vibrant locks be anything but  appropriate? Especially for a style as loud as lolita. I grew up with an alternative parent who had ink and various piercings my whole life so I viewed these as "normal". I even got my first tattoo as a birthday gift! I have loved collecting these pieces as much as I have collecting my wardrobe and f
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On Comms and Lonlitas

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 I've never been big on large gatherings where I'm expected to socialize with a majority of the attendees. The earliest thing that comes to mind is going to huge family gatherings during the holidays and clinging to my brother for company- the only one close to me in age- while I tried to be excited or pretend I remembered random great aunts and second-cousins. Unfortunately, this feeling really followed me in life and even into adulthood.  When you first start getting into the niche culture that is lolita fashion a lot of participants will talk about their local communities (comms) and how they have regular outings where they exist and socialize solely because they wear the same clothing. So many people make it sound like a staple, and newer lolitas will post all over the internet asking where they can find their own and be with others.  After about a year of wearing this fashion and trying to go to meets and gatherings at conventions, "comm" life just wasn't for
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On Lonliness

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 During the early summertime I found myself wearing lolita less and less. It wasn't because of the heat, or the humidity, or even not having enough time! I just didn't want to wear anything  that made me feel myself. It felt almost like the moment Alice had waking in Wonderland; "I'm afraid I can't explain myself, sir. Because I am not myself, you see?" Recently I had a friend point out what a difference I seem to have this last month compared to the summer, that I was finding time to wear the fashion whenever I could and was going back out again. It made me wonder, what changed?  I believe sometimes we overthink this style. It's always a performance, a constant need to improve or be different than everyone else who wears weird clothes. In the end that's all it is- funny clothes for funny creatives, just like any alternative subculture. I've seen many come and go, met amazing friends who have since grown out of the want for frilly dresses and obstr
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